For Everyday Use
by HecateA
Summary: An examination of the trouble of demigods living in the twenty first century and their constant run-ins with mythology. Oneshot. 16/16.


**For Everyday Use**

* * *

_**A study of Greek mythology in modern times and the ripping-off of and omnipresence of it.**_

* * *

Percy dropped the dish he was washing, making Sally jump and causing Annabeth to nearly drop her pile of plates too (she wasn't officially supposed to be clearing the table, but she came over for supper so often that she could hardly be considered a guest anymore).

"What's wrong?" Sally frowned.

He lifted a bottle of Ajax cleaner that he'd pulled out while retrieving the dish soap.

"Percy, that's not new," Sally said. "It's a cleaner."

"Look at it," Percy said thrusting the bottle towards them. "Look at the slogan. 'Stronger than grease'."

"That's not new either, Seaweed Brain," Annabeth said.

"Stronger than Grease," he said. "_Stronger than Greece. _Ajax the warrior in the Trojan war… my gods, I've cracked the code!"

* * *

This particular one was a pet peave's of Percy- one that Annabeth hadn't known about until they were babysitting Bobby and Matthew and the two boys put "The Little Mermaid" in the DVD player.

He swore under his breath and Annabeth shot him a look.

"What on earth is your problem?" she hissed.

"It's this movie," Percy said waving his hand at the TV screen.

"Your mom said it was your favourite," Annabeth said defensively. She'd heard a lot of stories from Sally during Percy's dissapearance.

"Yeah, but then I actually _went _to my father's palace and _met _Triton," Percy said. "The idiot's not in charge of the ocean!"

"Oh, come on," Annabeth said rolling her eyes.

"It's true!" Percy said. "He's already pretentious enough, how _dare _Disney make a movie in which he's king of the ocean!"

* * *

Percy hadn't been grocery shopping with his mom since he was about eight, but he'd been about to chuck his algebra textbook across the room so she'd thought to save him and drag him along.

They walked through the pharmaceutical aisle and Percy stopped and stared at once product in particular.

"You know, it really is a poor advertising choice," he said.

"What is, darling?" his mom asked.

"Trojan condoms," Percy said. "I mean, the entire point of the Trojan horse is that the little dudes got out and _burned the entire city down."_

* * *

"I like this song," Percy said.

"I told you this playlist was good," Annabeth said.

"What's the site? 8traks?"

"Yes," she said not looking up from her studying.

"What's the song?" Percy asked.

Annabeth looked up to her laptop to check and groanned.

"What?"

She showed him the laptop.

The song's name was Icarus.

* * *

"I can't believe it," Mike said shaking his head.

"We told you that you'd do great, man," Sean said slapping the guy's shoulder, grinning.

"I wasn't expecting to win that race," Mike repeated, in somewhat of a daze.

"You're our little track and field hero," Percy said. "Of course you were going to get gold."

Mika shook his head, completely in a daze.

"I swear it's the new shoes," he said smacking his foot. "Ever since I got the Nike shoes, I win everything."

It may not have been the best moment to laugh.

* * *

"I'd been looking for this DVD for ages," Paul said over supper.

"It's not in stores?" Mom asked.

Paul shook his head. "Apparently it's too 'outdated'."

"All the movies that you guys watch are," Percy said. His parents were into the original Clash of the Titans and stuff like _A fish named Wanda _and whatnot.

Paul made a face. "Anyways, I finally found it online so I'll order it from Amazon."

"NO!" Percy said. "You can't give _any _money to those people!"

* * *

"Do you have to be anywhere soon?" Sean asked. "I have to go pick up my car at the shop and I don't want to take the subway alone."

"Sure," Percy said. "What mechanic?"

"Midas," Sean said.

"Never mind, you're on your own."

* * *

In general Percy was pretty unaware of brands and his surroundings, but when Mom started using a new razor he always felt uncomfortable showering with the Venus disposable razor starring right back at him.

* * *

First day of the second semester.

Percy was in a class mostly filled with girls. Whatever. He thought that he was okay with it until the teacher started taking attendence and he realised that he was sitting between and around a Cassandra, a Helen, a Diana and a Diane.

* * *

It wasn't unusual for his parents to be reading. It was actually unusual for them _not _to be reading- and usually meant that they were working. They read all the time- late at night, at breakfast (all other meals were off-limits but anything was fair game at breakfast), laying next to each other in bed, in the living room after supper…

It only unsettled Percy now that so many of the books were published by a company called Hyperion.

* * *

Physics projects.

Clearly Percy had done something horrible in a past life to deserve them. Especially since he'd been at school for the last three hours after class, trying to shoot golf balls across the cafeteria.

"I'm going on a vending machine run," Sean said getting up. "Want something?"

"Whatever there is," Percy said making a tweak to their catapult.

Of course, since he'd been a serial killer in his past life, Sean came back with a Mars bar.

* * *

So maybe going to Europe for their honeymoon wasn't the greatest idea; considering that they had to duck from sculptures, pictures and busts of their naked godly parents all the time.

Also since last time Percy had stepped near a dusty old monument to Jupiter, he'd nearly been shot by lightning and killed.

* * *

"Alexander for a boy," Percy said. "It's a cool name."

"There are so many people called Alexander," Annabeth said, hands cupping her stomac.

"Exactly!" Percy said. "At least give the poor kid _one _normal thing about him that'll blend in."

Annabeth sighed and chewed her lip.

"What about the mythical connections?"

"What mythical connections?" Percy said.

"Well, Alexander the Great for starters," Annabeth said. No bells were rung in Percy's head. "You know? The legendary king of Macedonia? Only man in the history of the world to conquer the land now known as Afghanistan?"

"Yeah, but what about him?" Percy asked.

"He was a son of Zeus," Annabeth said. "Sworn ennemy of the Persian king Darius. Jason and Piper said that if theirs is a boy, it's going to be Darius…"

"For the love of all things good…" Percy said. "Do we really have to look this much into it?"

"Calm down, Seaweed Brain. Let's try girl names," Annabeth said. "Personally, I like Sophia."

"Mmm- no," Percy said.

"Why not?" Annabeth asked in a slightly pissed off and slightly whiny voice. Of course _she _was allowed to be upset when he shot down _her _name suggestions.

"Because Sophie means 'wisdom'," Percy said. "It was in that book that Hazel gave us."

"And your father would be missed if we named her after my mom's attribute," Annabeth sighed. "Alright, alright. What about…"

"I'm going to go ahead right now and say that there's probably a problem with your next suggestion too," Percy said.

Annabeth clucked her tongue and sighed. "It's so difficult being a demigod in this epidemic of commerical booms…"


End file.
